I need to lose 20 lbs to be fat…

I’ve been saying this for the last year and a half.  I’m so huge and pudgy that I need to lose 20lbs in order to have someone say, “Ooo, did you do something with your hair?” Seriously.  I’ve gone up and down so much over the last 2 years that everyone swears to me that I don’t look like I’ve gained a pound.  Are you sh!tting me?  I’ve gained 60 POUNDS!  I tell them I’m 200 lbs and they say, “You look exactly like you’ve always looked.” That just proves my need to lose to be considered fat.  It’s like, I’ve been so fat for so long, they only remember me this way.  When I lose this first 20, they’ll be like, “Damn! You really are fat.  You just lost 20 and you look like you still need to lose another 60!”  So I’m trying to take on each one of those 60 – 1 pound at a time.  Here’s how the week went…

Today is really day 2 for me when it should be day 4, but I’m in it to win it now!  I was terrible Sunday & Monday.  All I could think about was how hard it would be and how long it would take to lose 60 pounds.  I even cried!  That’s so NOT me.  I’m very confident and I’m usually not down on myself physically, but Monday night was a breaking point for me.  I cried in bed to my boyfriend and he assured me that, “Since [I] am so fat, the weight will just fall off.”  Exactly!  I heard, “Oh babe.  Just lose 20 lbs and you’ll only be fat…as opposed to massively whalish like you are now.’

To spite him, and myself, I started anew! I took a laxative – not to do any eating disorder ‘ish, but to cleans out all the junk.  I felt SO backed up and stiff thru my middle.  It made me not even want to move I felt so thick and knotted.  The laxative was PERFECT!  Within 6 hours, I voided all transactions from the past month.

And, I’m proud to report that I did the best workout I’ve ever done yesterday.  I was home sick from work – but once I started feeling better, I went to the gym (for the 2nd time in 6 months) and did 45 mins RUNNING on the ellyptical.  I too maintained 150 heart rate for my entire workout.  So many times I wanted to quit, but I didn’t.  I’m very proud of myself.  With that kickstart – I walked a mile with Alisa last night will eating low-cal, fat-free “ice cream.” Then I had Jenny Craig for dinner.  Today, I’ve been perfect on my food diet, have drank 64oz of Crystal Light and I’m currently finishing up my Jenny dinner.  I went to Jenny Craig for the first time almost two months today to get back on track, get food, and weigh in.  I’m 193.6 – FULLY DRESSED. 

I do believe I was 200 or really close to it on Sunday, but the “cleanse,” fluids and eating well over the last couple days has gotten rid of the bulk.  So now I’m working on the real fat.  I’m ready to do this.  I know I’m not going to be perfect – but I tell you what, my fat ass is going to lose it!

So Trice, you HAVE to get on it.  I’m already down 6.5 lbs.  Catch me if you can!


About Musings IRJ

Lover of books, cats, gorgeous men, and fine fuckery. Love and laughter heals most.

Posted on April 23, 2008, in Fat Myia and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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