Shopping Is Exercise, Dammit!!!

This past Thursday I went on a major binge-I went to McDonald’s and got a #2 (Quarter Pounder w/cheese, medium fries, and a Sprite), a small strawberry shake, and two apple pies. BUT, I did not eat everything in one sitting. OKAY, I save ONE pie til yesterday! I felt like a crackhead who just relapsed afterward. I woke up extra early on Friday and worked out semi-hard for 30 minutes. I did The Biggest Loser Cardio Sculpt Level One. That ish is no joke. I feel motivated when I see fat people moving and sweatin’ along with my fat ass. If they can do it, I know I can do it. I felt I’d somewhat redeemed myself until lunchtime. I went to the little carryout down the street from my office. Here’s a clue-when you see or use the word CARRYOUT, 9 times out of 10, you did not buy anything remotely healthy. So what did I buy? I got a 10 pc bbq wings (they’re the wingettes, not 10 who wings thank you!) with fries and a side of potato salad, and an ice cold Sprite to wash it all down. Yeah, I’m a crackhead……

Saturday morning, I had every intention of waking up early (the road to hell is paved with good intentions) and working out. NOPE! Woke up about 11:30, brushed my teeth, and rushed to The Post Office to pick up some packages I thought would be there. NOPE! Weren’t there. Pissed! I then hit the Safeway to pick up a few things including a gift card and flowers for my aunt’s b-day which was the 1st. That set me back about $75! It’s sad when you have to charge your groceries, but I did. It’s the first of the month. My rent and phone/cable/Internet bill are due and that’s practically my entire paycheck. Anyway, I go to my grandmother’s house for a little informal party for my aunt, who’s 54 now (yeah, I put it out there!) and I ate a big, fat, fried chicken tit with a biscuit from KFC. To top all that off, I ate a two-layer piece of yellow b-day cake with a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream. Yeah, I’m a crackhead!

So what did you eat today, Fat Trice? I ate nothing…until I went to the mall with my cousin. It was an outlet mall, therefore, I had to walk, therefore, I exercised! I had a hotdog with chili and cole slaw on it, and it was f*cking delish! It was messy and greasy and I cursed myself with every delicious bite. But I walked it off! Shopping is exercise, dammit!


About Musings IRJ

Lover of books, cats, gorgeous men, and fine fuckery. Love and laughter heals most.

Posted on August 3, 2008, in Fat Trice and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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