Why Can’t I Ever Be the “Results Not Typical” Statistic?

Look! It's Marcia Brady!

Look! It's Marcia Brady!

I know in my profile that I said I was going to lose the weight naturally without the aid of supplements, etc., but dammit, that aint workin’! Myia told me that she’s been using Slim Shots-a liquid supplement that’s an appetite suppressant, and she liked it. I thought I’d give it try because Myia is my sister, and I do trust her judgment over anyone else’s. So what does a sista do but head on over to my local GNC to pick up a box. Read on!

Ya’ll know I’m about to cut up right? First of all, the damn things cost $40. Not happy ’bout that becuz I’m very frugal when it comes to trying something new. Moving on…I begrudgingly shell out the $40. What’s $40 compared to eating less and possibly shedding tons of weight, right? Wrong! So I rip the box open when I get home to check out this new miracle drug, but first, I read the outside of the box. Emblazoned on the front: Eat up to 30% less everyday!* RED FLAG ALERT!!! RED FLAG ALERT!!!! RED FLAG ALERT!!! Anytime you see an asterisk beside an eye-catching or too-good-to-be-true claim, trust me, it is. Instead on putting the disclaimer on the front, they stick it on the side, and here’s what it says verbatim: ” Clinical studies have shown the average caloric intake was reduced by 12.5% to 30%. Wow! Ya’ll know where I fit in right? I’m the 12.5%!

The shots are packaged like little, portable coffee creamers. These “creamers” are comprised of palm oil, oat oil, and water. UGH!!! I use palm oil to make soap, and now I’m drinking it to feel full?  Oh, and did I mention that each “pod” has 20 calories and 2g of saturated fat? Whoo-hoo! No trans fat! (I’m being facetious.) So I gulp the liquid contents, and I damn near gag because this crap tastes like synthetic, vanilla, I don’t know.

Long story short-it did suppress my appetite for about a week, then it was like my brain said, “Oh, you got jokes?” That ish stopped working. I was no fuller than if I’d drank two cups of water. So what say thee? Keep your $40.00 and drink 2 cups of water every hour. You’ll feel just as full, and you’ll get in your water intake at the same time. If you’re a Slim Shots enthusiast, I’d love to hear your take on the subject.

Advertisements

About Musings IRJ

Lover of books, cats, gorgeous men, and fine fuckery. Love and laughter heals most.

Posted on August 11, 2008, in Fat Trice, What Say Thee?, WTF?? and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: