Author Archives: mymyshelookgood

Fat is NOT a 4-letter word

I want to address the negative comments we’ve gotten here.  This site is NOT about hating ourselves or hatin’ on Black women or the overweight.  It takes too much energy to go negative.  The title sounds negative because of the negative connotations of the word FAT – but that’s all it is, other people’s bad associations with the word.  We’ve embraced the fact that we are OBESE – not a little chunky, not on a journey to be emaciated – we really are unhealthily FAT and we need to lose weight. 

Fat is not a 4-letter word people.  If you feel more comfortable saying overweight, feel free. For Trice and me, we’re most comfortable joking and laughing about the work we need to do while going about the rather serious task of becoming more healthy. I’ll be perfectly honest, this blog is not for the weak at heart. We get pretty blunt and sometimes a little mean, but it’s all with love. The great thing about the Internet is that there are places for more sensitive folks and then there’s places for us hard asses. So…

My sister and I created this site because we were and still are fat and Black and ready to lose weight (and hopefully not our minds in the process). Fortunately, my sister and I don’t sit around feeling sorry for ourselves and moping about our sizes.  On the contrary, we embraced our size a little too well.  In the past, we’ve bought clothes that made us feel better – ate more food – had a few more drinks and just basked in our overweightness in the name of pride.  It hasn’t gotten us very far on the positive side.  We have health concerns that were only brought on by our weight.

So we’re done being proud of our sizes and touting ‘big is beautiful’ because it’s just not healthy.  Now, hate on that all you like.  That’s your choice and your wasted energy.  I’ll use my energy to join a new aerobics class. 


It’s been a long time…I shouldn’t have left you

It’s been a year since I’ve blogged, and in that time I’ve done nothing but gain more weight.  Don’t get me wrong, I had fun putting some of it on – but now I’m ready to make some fun of taking it off. 

I’ve got tons of excuses as to why I’ve gained tons of weight.  I was unhappy with work, I have 2 hurting herniated discs in my neck,  I have this problem and that problem and so on.  The biggest and most truthful reason is that I just like to eat and drink and it feels good doing both.

Well, I’ve got all the baggage of a year of weight gain and a long list of complications that my soaring weight gain has created.  But the buck has to stop here.  I have to make serious changes in my life – LIFE CHANGES – not a diet, not a quick fix, a real change.  (It’s gonna feel real good.  Gonna make a difference.  Gonna make it right-i-i-ight…a little tribute to Mike).

Today starts the rest of my life.  It’s going to be hard – but I have to lose 75lbs.  I hope to catelogue it all right here on Fat, Black & Losin’ It.  All the fun, foibles, folley and fatisms…

“Progress, Not Perfection”

I saw this quote on the wall at Jenny Craig tonight.  I needed it like a Baptist preacher needs a dry rag on an August Sunday morning.  Progress, not perfection.  I was so down when I got on the scale today at The Craig.  I lost the weight I gained while I was layed up with my bad neck.  I got down to 183 lbs – that’s 17 lbs less than I weighed when we started this blog.  I was SO down.  I felt like I had sacrificed so much in the last 3 weeks trying to follow my Action Plan for such little loss.  My first thought was bacon cheeseburger, my second thought was Godiva.  Luckily, my third thought was “progress, not perfection.”

We have to remember to savor the little things.  “Every day on the plan is a win,” that’s another quote from The Craig.  But it’s true.  Little things mean a lot.  The big chunks of weight loss don’t happen every week.  Sometimes, progress is about drinking all your daily water, not having that bag of M&Ms, working out when you really just don’t feel like it.

Today my big win was fighting off a case of the “I really wanted to lose more weight blues.”  It hurt so badly not to have lost more.  But, there we go again…the measure of progress is subjective. 

Think of your daily “wins.”  What does progress mean to you?  What have you accomplished?  What new ways of keeping on track have you discovered and stuck to?  I’d like to hear from you.

Word To The Wise – FIber can be deadly

I’ve been doing well on my low calorie, low fat, high fiber diet.  Especially the high fiber part.  If you look at the lable on most 100 calorie snacks, low calorie bread, these really delicious Fiber One bars that I eat 2 of every day, and just about everything Jenny Craig has to offer, you’ll see the fiber counts are off the radar.  The ‘recommended daily allowance of fiber’ for a woman in her 20’s – 30’s is 24g a day.  Most days I have 30g or more – those dang FIber One bars are 35% of my recommended daily fiber and my favorite Jenny C cereals range from 30 – 50% of my recommended intake.  By the time I add a salad, side of veggies, fruit and anything else for the day, I’m off the chart.

One would think this would be great for the fat girl – eat, crap, less fat…Not so much.  Too much fiber can cause bloating, gas and dry, compact stool.  Sounds like TMI, but I’m really trying to warn ya’ll.  Fiber is an amazing nutrient – but it has to be used correctly.  When you add fiber to your diet – don’t forget to add more water!  I woke up at 6 this morning with “the jimmy-leg” and a serious set of stomach cramps.  (Don’t pretend you don’t know about the jimmy-leg: when you have to crap so badly that your leg starts shaking like you just ran a 20-mile race.) – Well that’s how I started my day.  One problem – I didn’t drink enough yesterday so there was a dustbowl brewing in my booty.  It didn’t feel good at all 😦 But the upside is that when I finally “went,” I probably “purged” all of my unused food from the day before.  A very nice, weight-reducing effect of fiber.

The moral of the story is: use fiber and the right mix of water and you can crap your way to faster weight loss.  Just know what you’re doing.

Here are a few Fiber Facts from the Mayo Clinic:

Benefits of a high-fiber diet

A high-fiber diet has many benefits, which include:

  • Prevents constipation. Dietary fiber increases the weight and size of your stool and softens it. A bulky stool is easier to pass, decreasing your chance of constipation. If you have loose, watery stools, fiber may also help to solidify the stool because it absorbs water and adds bulk to stool.
  • Lowers your risk of digestive conditions. A high-fiber diet may lower your risk of specific disorders, such as hemorrhoids, irritable bowel syndrome and the development of small pouches in your colon (diverticular disease).
  • Lowers blood cholesterol levels. Soluble fiber found in beans, oats, flaxseed and oat bran may help lower total blood cholesterol levels by lowering low-density lipoprotein, or “bad,” cholesterol levels.
  • Controls blood sugar levels. Fiber, particularly soluble fiber, can slow the absorption of sugar, which for people with diabetes, can help improve blood sugar levels. A high-fiber diet may also reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
  • Aids in weight loss. High-fiber foods generally require more chewing time, which gives your body time to register when you’re no longer hungry, so you’re less likely to overeat. Also, a high-fiber diet tends to make a meal feel larger and linger longer, so you stay full for a greater amount of time. And high-fiber diets also tend to be less “energy dense,” which means they have fewer calories for the same volume of food.


I’ve been looking at a lot of blogs lately and taking stock.  I think Trice and I can make some improvements here.  We’re going to get on a regular posting schedule and try to come up with a few categories for posts.  Ex: 2 Fatfirmations each week, Recipe of the Week, Product Reviews, Weekly Whine (rants about how hard it is to lose weight), Shut Up “I’m Bitching” (different from the whines these are complaints about being fat the bad things happen because of it – wearring out a pair of jeans, breaking shoes, etc).

More to come…


Sunday Fatfirmation: Fall is Coming

Fall.  The season of change.  The leaves turn pretty colors.  Kids go back to school (thank goodness!).  New shows come on TV (my favorite part).  And most important of all – it’s an excuse to reinvent ourselves under the radar.  Yep, that’s right.  It’s like New Year’s resoloutions without being under the microscope of all those f@ckers out there who want to change us.  But this is really different.  There’s no microscope and we don’t have tell anybody what the hell we’re doing.  It’s personal.  Just about us.  But all the while, we get great motivation from all the change around us. 

Here we go people.  Let’s figure out our own personal action plans – something reasonable – and then stick to it.  Here’s mine:

1. Stick to Jenny Craig + fruits, veggies and dairy in moderation

2. Light daily exercise consisting of some walking or stair climbing (remember people, I have a herniated disc and 2 bulges in my neck and spine)

3. Allow myself 1 (and only 1) small cheat per week.  Usually, it’s a handful of Mike & Ikes from the vending machine at work – or maybe a handful of M&Ms.  Not a whole serving!  More like a half serving or less.

4. Allow myself 1 (and only 1) REAL cheat per week.  This week (yesterday), I had 2 ribs and a an Appletini Smirnoff.  It’s bad…but I follow it up with HI fiber and an extra 40oz of water.  It’s got to be balanced out.

5. Remind myself that this is for me.  This isn’t about pleasing a guy or getting into sexy jeans (but I ain’t gonna lie, those are pretty great side effects too).  This is about us “losing” it – all that negative crap –  All the excess weight we don’t need; all those negative feelings that make us weigh twice our actual poundage.  Get the weight of the world and impressions off your shoulders. 

People, we’re not perfect.  We’re a work in progress.  And since it’s fall, let’s seize the season and make it happen; progress that is.

Tomorrow’s fatfirmation topic: you guessed it, smarty, PROGRESS.


It’s easy dieting with this garbage on TV…

With the Republican National Convention on all week, it was easy to diet.  I just couldn’t muster up an appetite with all the BS on TV.  Sorry to take this blog political, but seriously, the politics of this election are giving me lots of motivation.  I want to be a better person, inside and out.  I just can’t believe all that’s going. 

Well, while watching all of the coverage, I was able to keep on my diet – perfectly.  I’ve had all my water, all Jenny Craig, all the time – and some Fiber One bars for good measure.  I guess my point is, even at this crazy time – scared, bored and excited (by Obama), I could keep myself on track.  It’s possible to do anything when you want it bad enough.


I’m Baaaaaaaa-ack!

So, a herniated cervical disc and two bulding thoracic discs later, I’m back on the blog.  Gotta tell ya, for the last six weeks, I have been in so much pain I’ve been pushed to tears more times than I can count.  Yeah, I turned to food more times than I wanted, but I’ve only gained back 3 of the 15lbs I already lost.

Now I’m back with a vengeance!  I can’t workout yet, but what I can do is eat my “Jenny My-Craig,” do lots of walking and make sure I get my 64oz of water every day.  I’m on it.  I’m on fire.  The fall fashion season is coming and I AM SEXY BACK.  It’s coming boo.

For today, I was amazing – the fluids, the food, the fiber, the movement, the mental wherewithal – everything. Join me tomorrow.  You can do it with me. We can do it!

Come on people. Let me hear you say it – “We can do it!”


Monday FATfirmation: Reload the Matrix

It’s back to “real life.”  Work, routine and structure.  Monday is the day to take stock of the week past and to look forward at the week ahead.  Agree that the journey is still going.  We have to learn from the week prior and stay focused and goal oriented for the week ahead.  We’re here for each other for support, but keeping ourselves centered and knowing that we’re our own best cheerleader and worst enemy rolled up into one fat package. 

Good luck to us all as Monday rolls on and we keep on this path towards “losin’ it.”

Try this for a nice, guiltfree way to enjoy “apple crisp ala mode.”

Peel, core and fire an apple in fat-free cooking spray. sprinkle with 1/2 pack of 0 calorie sweetner and 1 tsp of Splenda Brown Sugar and a cople of dashes of cinnamon.  sautee/fry until your mixture is nice and goey.

Top with a 1/2 bag of crushed Lorna Doone 100 calorie snack pack and a tbsp of frozen, fat-free cool whip.  [for an even toastier treat, before topping with cool whip, spray your treat with 0 calorie “butter spray” like Oliva, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter or Parkay spray. put the apples, cookie and sprayed treat in the oven on 375 for 5 mins and remove.  add your frozen topping]

Your sweet tooth will be satiated and you’ll get to enjoy the taste or apple crisp.

Only 10 pounds until I’m fat…

So, my definition of obesity is the point at which you are so large that people cannot tell when you GAIN or LOSE 25 pounds.  At 200 lbs, everyone told me they couldn’t tell I had gained weight.  At a size 16, 60 lbs heavier than when I started my job 3 years ago at a size 6-8, my coworkers were saying ‘I didn’t need to lose a pound’ that they ‘couldn’t tell I had gained any weight.’  It just made me sick.  I thought, “How could I gain 60 lbs and NO ONE has noticed.” Well, I gained the weight slowly – over 3 years – so to them, I had gotten to that critical point where one could not tell if I gained or lost any weight.  So, for the last 6 months or so, I have been saying, “I need to lose 25 lbs to be fat.”  Meaning – I need to lose 25 lbs so that when I lose or gain any more weight, people actually notice.  Well, with 200 lbs as the hi point and 25 lbs as my “fat” vs obese benchmarks, I am now only 10 lbs away from my goal of being fat.  I’ve lost 15 lbs and no one can tell a thing!

Once I get to 175 and start losing more weight, people will say – “did you do something with your hair,” “what’s different about your make up,” “you just have this new light about you and I have no idea what it is.”  At 26 lbs, I swear, people will say, “damn, you lost weight,” “you’re looking thinner,” “your clothes are just hanging off of you.” 

It’s ok though.  I understand the rules…

Obesity – the point at which you are SO LARGE people who see you on even a semi-regular basis (x1 per month!) cannot tell if you gain or lose 1 – 25 lbs.

Fat – the point at which you are still overweight (your BMI is unhealty, you shop in plus size, etc) but if you gain or lose 1 lb and people finally notice “there’s something different about you.

Close to goal, but still not there – the point at which you are still overweight (still don’t have a perfect BMI, 2 – 3 sizes above your ideal weight), but people are saying “wow, you are really on your way,” “dag, what diet are you on because I want to lose too,” “you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

Reached your goal, within 5 lbs – the point at which you can fit into your ideal size 1/3 of the time, your ideal size is too small for you 1/3 of the time, your ideal size is too big for you 1/3 of the time…it just depends on the cut and/or brand. At this stage, people will say, “oh my God, you’re so small. you’re not going to lose anymore,” “you can’t still be dieting,” “you look like a totally different person, wow!”

So…where are you on this scale?