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Something To Strive For

Every time I look at this pic, I’m like “Who Is This Woman, and how can I get her back.” The first pic was snapped before my descent into hell. My skin was smooth. My body was tight! I wasn’t small, but there was no flab. My clothes hugged all the curves just right. There’s no double chin. My boobs were much smaller. I could go on…. This photo inspires me to get off my ass and do those 20 minutes with Jillian “The Biyotch” Michaels. The second pic on the other hand is me now. Check my makeup. It’s my attempt to mask my fat face, but it really only accentuates it. For those of you reading this post and thinking “She is so f*cking vain. What’s the big deal…..?” The big deal is once you are a certain size-your happy-to-be-in-the-skin-you’re-in-size, you don’t want to be any other way. This isn’t vanity or some attempt to garner sympathy or all the “You don’t look so bad” remarks. No, no, no! I am trying to get my swag back. I’m single again, and I can’t get back on the scene without any self-confidence.

Myia told me that 8 lbs was something I could achieve in 56 days. Yeah, it’s achievable, but there are hurdles. Unlike the others, I’m not a big drinker, so I’m relatively safe there. My biggest hurdle is the late night snack attack. I swear my mind is f*cking with me. I’ll be totally satiated one minute, then five minutes later, I’m raiding my kitchen for whatever. Lord, give me strength!