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Feelin’ Fat and F*cked Up

I guess this is my punishment for calling you all fat asses. I worked out tonight for the first time in two days, and it felt like I hadn’t worked out in about two months. I was truly huffin and puffin after the freakin warm up! Why the hell is that? I guess eating McDonald’s for breakfast two days in a row doesn’t help but damn if that Steak, Egg & Cheese bagel didn’t hit the spot going down!

I am truly my own worse enemy. Whenever I make an inch of process, I take a mile’s worth of bad reward-eating some bullshiggidy that’s no good for me. A girl can only take so many Lean Cuisines and chicken breasts. I really enjoy the art of cooking, but I don’t like the cleanup. I’m a confessed slob which could be another blog creation in itself, but I won’t go there. I’ve lost about 9.5 pounds since April. That’s horrible! I was truly expecting to be about 15-20 pounds lighter by now. Working out as hard and consistently as I do, I really should be, but it’s the food! I cannot resist sweets and snacks. Yeah, I’m snacking on Fiber One Bars, butI eat like two at a time, and they’re 140 calories a pop. I always get second helpings with dinner. I eat too late. I’m not drinking water except when working out. I could go on and on. And on.

So I admit it: I’ve fallen off the wagon. I feel like an utter failure. I won’t even look at the scale. I’ve got a pair of size 16 Baby Phat jeans that barely fit. How humiliating. I must regroup and collect my thoughts. I’ll holla at ya’ll before the weekend is over:-(